All Posts in Category: (07) The Medicine of Life
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.
Why is it so hard to change our bad habits?
Not being able to change doesn’t’t mean you’re weak, stubborn, or lazy. Whatever it is that you resolved to do (or stop doing) in the past, there’s no doubt you meant it. So, what’s been standing in your way?
Your mind has a hidden agenda of its own to maintain the status quo. It is likely to reject anything that it perceives as new, unsettling, or potentially uncomfortable. This inherent resistance protects you from the negative disruption that sudden change can bring.
Unfortunately, this built-in defense mechanism can often sabotage positive change in your life as well.
Most people don’t realize the importance of their thought life and the impact it has on their body and emotions. Your body does what your mind tells it to do. Your mind controls your actions.
So you won’t be able to change your behavior without changing your mind.
If you want to successfully change your behavior, one of the best things you can do is to monitor your thought life and adjust your thinking. But you must be willing to look at your entrenched patterns of belief through a fresh lens. You need to become deliberate in your decision to monitor your thoughts and the assumptions you have been making.
We used to believe our brains couldn’t be changed. Now we believe they can – if we want it enough.
Neuroplasticity allows you to change your life and make happiness a reality. You can go from being a victim to a victor.
Even a casual search on Google will show a curious browser that neuroplasticity is a “magical” scientific discovery that shows that our brains are not hard-wired like computers, as was once thought, but are rather more like “play-doh.” This means that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains and that by doing certain exercises we can actually change our brain’s strength, size and density. Neuroplasticity means we can become better [human beings]. It doesn’t even have to be difficult.
Renewing your mind is the process of changing the way your mind operates. Most people don’t know where to start on their own. It’s not clear to them what they should do differently or how to create the change they desire. My FREE Renew Your Mind workbook is designed to help you create positive and sustainable change in your life. I show you how to break through cognitive barriers and provide the secret to making changes that stick.
Stefani Yorges brings expertise as a leadership educator, consultant, and coach. She holds a Ph.D. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Purdue University and has been teaching graduate courses at West Chester University in Pennsylvania for the past 20 years. She specializes in positive, strengths-based, transformational leadership models and has engaged with more than 100 clients as an executive coach. She and her husband are actively involved in their church.
Her cite is a wealth of wisdom about healthy living! Check it out: http://leadinghigher.com/
Do you not know that your body is a house of God where the Holy Spirit lives?
Now you belong to God. You do not belong to yourselves.
God bought you with a great price.
So honor God with your body because you belong to Him.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
If we live, we are living for the Lord. And if we die, we are dying for the Lord.
So living or dying, we belong to the Lord.
Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own,
but belong—body and soul, in life and in death
to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.
Heidelberg Catechism – Q&A 1
“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.”
Viktor E. Frankl
A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.
Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but what if there’s a more fulfilling path? Happiness comes and goes, says writer Emily Esfahani Smith, but having meaning in life — serving something beyond yourself and developing the best within you — gives you something to hold onto. Learn more about the difference between being happy and having meaning as Smith offers four pillars of a meaningful life.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
For this reason I write these things while I am absent,
so that when I am present I need not proceed harshly.
The Lord gave me authority for building up and not for tearing down.
Megan Phelps-Roper was raised in the Westboro Baptist Church, the Topeka, Kansas church known internationally for its daily public protests against members of the LGBT community, Jews, the military and countless others. As a child, teenager and early 20-something, she participated in the picketing almost daily and pioneered the use of social media in the church. Dialogue with “enemies” online proved instrumental in her de-radicalization, and she left the church and her entire way of life in November 2012. Since then she has become an advocate for people and ideas she was taught to despise — especially the value of empathy in dialogue with people across ideological lines. She speaks widely, engaging audiences in schools, universities, faith groups, and law enforcement anti-extremism workshops. Her book is entitled: “Banished“.
Please, God, no more yelling,
no more trips to the woodshed.
Have pity on me and heal my feeble body.
I’m so starved for affection.
Can’t you see I’m black-and-blue,
beat up badly in bones and soul?
God, how long will it take
for you to let up?
Break in, God, and break up this fight;
if you love me at all, get me out of here.
I’m no good to you dead, am I?
I can’t sing in your choir if I’m buried in some tomb!
I’m tired of all this—so tired. My bed
has been floating forty days and nights
On the flood of my tears.
My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears.
The sockets of my eyes are black holes;
nearly blind, I squint and grope.
When stress got to be too much for Sangu Delle,
he had to confront his own deep prejudice:
that men shouldn’t take care of their mental health.
In a personal talk, Delle shares how he learned to handle anxiety
in a society that’s uncomfortable with emotions.
As he says: “Being honest about how we feel doesn’t make us weak.
It makes us human.”
Sangu graduated with a Bachelor of Arts (Highest Honors) in African Studies and Economics from Harvard College, a Doctor of Law from Harvard Law School, and a Masters in Business Administration from Harvard Business School.
Be wise in your behaviour towards non-Christians, and make the best possible use of your time.
Procrastination is the tendency to put things off – often to the point where they’re no longer manageable. It’s the disconnect between your intention and action.
And it usually makes hard things even harder.
When you look at most people’s list of bad habits they want to break, procrastination is usually one of them. If you struggle with procrastination, consider which of these 12 reasons have you spinning your wheels:*
- Lack of discipline.“I’ll do this later.”
- Fear of failure.“I don’t think I can do this, so why bother trying.”
- Wishful thinking.“If I ignore it, maybe it’ll go away.”
- Unreasonable expectations.“If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t even attempt it.”
- Feeling overwhelmed.“This project seems complicated. I don’t have the energy to tackle it right now. Let me think about it some more…tomorrow.”
- Fear of complexity.“I don’t even know where to start.”
- Lack of motivation.“I’m just not in the mood right now.”
- Fear of accountability.“What if I fail?”
- Feeling bored.“I’d rather be having fun.”
- Lack of urgency.“I have plenty of time to do this later. It’s not due for days.”
- Fear of making a decision.“I need more information before I can start.”
- Working under pressure. “I love the adrenaline rush that I get when I’m up against a deadline.”
Procrastination often happens when you have some anxiety about the important task ahead of you. To get rid of this negative feeling, you procrastinate — by opening up Facebook or watching Netflix instead. This makes you feel better temporarily, but unfortunately, reality comes back to bite you in the end.
When you procrastinate, it’s easy for things to snowball out of control. In some cases, it can lead to outright panic, freezing you in your tracks and preventing you from getting anything done.
What’s the solution?
We all have the same 24 hours in a day. The most successful people have learned how to plan and prioritize effectively.
If you don’t have a plan, your brain stalls. And that’s when you procrastinate.
Instead of considering procrastination as a habit you need to break, or a hardwired part of your personality, think of it as an alarm, or a red flag—a sign that something is missing. Something is preventing you from getting things done.
Start with priorities. Remember, everything on your plate is not an immediate priority. Force yourself to pick the 1-2 most important tasks on your to-do list and set your agenda for the day/week. Mark Twain said, “If your job is to eat a frog, eat it first thing in the morning, and if your job is to eat two frogs, eat the big one first.”
Next, identify a specific short-term goal. A goal will force you to focus on one thing (and one thing only).
Finally, identify the steps required to achieve that goal. Break big activities down into smaller pieces (i.e., the divide and conquer approach). Don’t get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the whole task. Big problems are best solved in small bites.
Recognize that you don’t have to be “in the mood” to do a certain task — just ignore how you feel and get started. Instead of focusing on feelings, think about what your next action step will be. Even if it’s an extremely small action, a little progress will typically make you feel better about the task and increase your confidence.
Your time on earth is limited. Procrastinators act as if they have all the time in the world. But deep down, they know they’re wasting their life by sitting in their comfort zone. Don’t squander another second – dive in today!
Dr Stephani Yorges is an educator, consultant, and coach, helping people to connect with their personal potential to peak performance. She has expertise in a variety of leadership models and assessment tools. Her formal education is in the behavioral sciences, receiving her Ph.D. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Purdue University in 1996. She has been teaching graduate courses at West Chester University in Pennsylvania for more than 20 years.
Check out her site at: http://leadinghigher.com/. It has a wealth of wisdom about living successfully!