This article is specifically directed to women. However, the principles are applicable to all persons. I don’t agree with everything here asserted. But, “eat the fish and throw out the bones.”
Dina Strada is an L.A. based Event Planner, Author, and Certified Life Coach specializing in relationships and empowering women. She has most recently been featured as a Contributing Author in the powerful new book, “Simply Women: Stories from 30 Magnificent Women Who Have Risen Against the Odds”.
I’ve lost count how many times my own heart has been broken. I could argue that the breaking of my heart was done to me by another person. I could easily make myself the victim of my stories of heartache and loss. But I’ve come to realize that in each situation, I had a choice. And my choices were the cause of many broken hearts.I am in no way suggesting that we won’t sometimes have our heart broken by another person when we do everything right, even when we make the best choices for ourselves. Because that’s part of life. Our hearts are fragile and vulnerable to the actions of others.
7. Accept what is. Every 12 step program has a prayer they recite at meetings that has always carried me through life:
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation—
Some fact of my life—unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Anytime we find ourselves struggling emotionally or in turmoil about a situation, it’s because we aren’t in acceptance with what exists in the moment. And being in that place creates so much heartache for us.
I’ve found in my own life that I don’t have to like what’s happening. I just have to accept what’s happening. It’s the only way through and any other way breaks my heart and causes a whole lot of pain.
So on this last one I’m going to share a personal experience because I know that there are a lot of people reading this who may be going through the same thing.
Like many people, I’m a single parent. Holidays are still incredibly hard for me. My parents are still married and make a big deal about the holidays. I’ve never had to go between two homes or split the holidays with them. Now, I spend a lot of holidays without my children. Do I cry about this still? Yes I do. Do I accept the situation for what it us?
I can allow my heart to be broken every holiday and tell myself how unfair this is. I can tell myself how this wasn’t my choice, that this is not what I signed on for when I got married and had children and nurse my broken heart every time. Or I can just accept it. And the truth is, the acceptance is what gets me through. It’s the only path to not feeling broken anymore.
Don’t break your own heart. We have more control over this than we think. It just requires a little bit of practice.
Author: Dina Strada
Image: Lauren Treece/Flickr
Editor: Catherine Monkman